Worth the wait but instead you are worrying the whole time. I was talking to my mom the day my book came out for purchase or when I realized it came out for purchase and I told her how I was giving it all to God and was just going to relax. She then responded with, “Well, what else could you do?” and we both started to laugh. I really do feel so proud of myself when I decide not to worry and just give it to God but in all honesty it’s not like I have a whole lot of other options.
I can worry which makes me sick to my stomach, my face break out, and my mood terrible orrrr I can give it to God. I can trust that He is a loving God who does not want me to fail, He cares more for me than I could even imagine, and He already knows exactly how it’s going to play out and is with me through it all. Those are my only options. It makes me laugh that I get so pleased with myself for giving it to God. Like, give it to the One who knows everything or give it to yourself who only knows a small amount of things and constantly assumes the pile of laundry in my room at night is someone who has come in to murder me.
The choice is so clear yet I constantly battle myself to give it up. My life in my hands is in horrible condition but my life in HIS hands is a far better journey. Why is worry ever our first option? Why do we worry at all?
It’s like when people say, “All there is left to do is pray.” Umm no that should have been the first thing and that is the very best thing. Praying to the one who heals, takes away sin, and raises people from the dead should never be the last option.
I think we (100% me) so often worry first and pray last because we are so caught up in our own small finite minds that we can not even come close to comprehending His infinite self and love for us. It is easier to turn to ourselves and hope for a better outcome that we could devise than having to have faith that He will part the ocean and we will walk through it. Having to trust that His word is good and He doesn’t lie is hard when your enemies are running up behind you and your only options are that you can surrender or trust that His word is good and He will part the sea. He will see you through.
I think I choose to worry so much over trusting in Him because it’s hard for me to grasp that He would part the ocean for me or guide my small rock to take down a giant with a sword. I know that He has done all of these things for others but why would he do it for me? I so often let my doubts in myself and others dictate the Father. He is not defined by us or defined by what we can imagine.
So, when a friend doesn’t support you, you get a bad review, a family member doesn’t treat you the way you think family should, or even your own self has been causing you to have the worst day… Know that Jesus is so much more than our doubts, hurts, and fears. He is better than our best day and He is going before, beside, and behind you.
I will leave you with a quote my brother shared with me.
“It might be a good idea if, like the White Queen, we practiced believing six impossible things every morning before breakfast. For we are called to believe what, to many people, is impossible. Instead of rejoicing in this glorious “impossible” which gives meaning and dignity to our lives, we try to domesticate God, to make His mighty actions comprehensible to our finite minds.” – Madeleine L’Engle
Here is to giving worrying up, here is to doing it over and over again having faith that one day we will finally get it, and here is to having a God that wants more for us than finite minds could ever grasp! How nice that we get to just be patient and wait
P.S. I will have you all know that my great post about being okay with a bad review was a lot harder to deal with when it actually happened. I was immediately like the Israelites in the desert forgetting all the things God had done for them and will do for them. EMBARRASSING but that’s the tea. 😉